MARY HAWORTH'S MAIL .

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Oldster's Words Mystify Self-Reliant Young Girl

DEAR MARY HAWORTH: 1 am a young girl with a high school diploma, a good job and a problem that I don't understand, therefore don't know how to solve. Perhaps you can help me. To explain: There is an elderly man in my of* fice with whom I have a nice friendship. One day he looked at me very sincerely and said, in effect, "You've got everything you need, and more, to make your life happy, peaceful and secure.

But

first you must learn to think with your mind instead of your heart."

At the risk of sounding stupid, I MARY HAWORTH must admit I don't know what he means. On several occasions he has said that I think with my heart, but doesn't give an example. This habit comes as a surprise, and sounds very unwise,

I'd like to overcome it; but how?

I am third of four children, the only girl, and my mother died when I was four.

Dad didn't want us,

so we stayed with a grandmother, a maiden aunt and a blind, helpless grandfather. Anger was the only emotion we saw as children. The boys were closely united at home; but I was wild and was granted too much freedom.

I changed my ways, resolved there would be no repetition, and faith has given me great strength there. The torment is all gone, and 1 feel mentally and emotionally stable as never before.

Meantime, one brother nas become homosexual, and another is married and divorced, with a child that neither he nor his wife really cares for. I am a lucky girl with a good life before me, and 1 am hoping your comment will help to keep me on the right track. G. S.

Uses Her Head

DEAR G. S.: Since the heart doesn't think (so far as know), but instead keeps the blood in circulation, and is quickly responsive to emotion, we may assume your friend was using a metaphor.

believes to be true, it may be If this is the gist of what he merely his opinion, not necessarily a fact about you. The story of your determined intelligent struggle to rise above carly blunders show that you do have a head on your shoulders, and that you have been using it well, in making the transition from rudderless childhood to purposeful young womanhood.

Also, the man's admonition to "think with your mind instead of your heart" may be a characteristic pronouncement of dispirited age, in speaking to ebullient sunny youth after age has lost the qualities of youth.

Maybe Not Profound For example, if you have good health and unbroken mettle, it would be natural at your age to see life through rose colored glasses, and to believe the best of people, and to anticipate a wonderful future.

Possibly the man is trying to

say, "Take a long-range view of life; pick your goal and go after it; don't let anything lead you off-course."

Re-

My advice is, don't worry about his admonition if you don't understand what he's getting at; don't let it make you anxiously self-conscious. member, a woman's intuition is her best friend in the field of action-provided she is intelligent, sociable and morally sensitive. M.H.

Mary

Haworth counsels through her column, not by mail or personal interview. Write her in care of the Plain Dealer.